Near Death Experience And Green Beer Day.

Tonight in Saskatoon The Pussycat Dolls are entertaining many young impressional future-sluts with thier lip-synching and provocative dancing slutfest of awesomeness. But in the far away land of Regina, something much, much more awesome is melting the faces off of the saskatchewan metal-head masses. I'm talking about the legendary Black Sabbath, and the legendary Ronnie James Dio, back together under the moniker 'Heaven and Hell'... even though everyone will still call them 'Sabbath with Dio.'

Quick heavy metal history lesson for you all. Dio was the man who gave birth to the 'devil horns' that I'm sure each and everyone of you have saluted your favorite band with at some point in time. Dio replaced Ozzy and made 2 very under-rated albums with Sabbath. Tenacious D have a song about Dio, and is featured in thier masterpiece 'The Pick Of Destiny.' Dio is Jack Black's hero. Dio was featured in the South Park episode 'hooked on phonics monkey' (not his actual voice) Dio is a 65 year-old-ever-shrinking man of 5 feet and 3 inches of pure metal ass-kickery.

If seeing Toni Iommi shred it up with the band that invented heavy music isn't enough to blow the awesome receptors in your brain, then the opening act should surely do just that. Opening for Heaven and Hell is the man, the god, Dave Mustaine with his band Megadeth, a band that kicks so much ass that they were featured on both Guitar Hero's (note: Sabbath was also on both games... but niether of them during the Dio years)

Kyle and myself decided that this is something that we just cannot miss. So we picked up our tickets from the Tcup, then hit the road to get our jeans creamed (we were both wearing denim pants) Now my car purrs like a kitten and I have no real problems with it at all, but since I havn't really hit the road with it we decided to cristen it with it's very first road trip with a short but sweet journey. I knew that my car was acting kind of shakey, and I first assumed that it was because of a bent rim, because my sister had the same problem with her car, which was the same model, cept a few years newer than mine. I was wrong. We passed the Grasswood Esso doing about 120 because we left late, and speeding was neccesary for us to make it to the concert on time. The car was shaking, but I shrugged it off, and figured I could deal with it before the car does it's next roadtrip. BAM! the rear passenger tire blew out like it was shot with a gun. Because of my lack of vagina I was able to not spin out of control and safely pull over to the side of the road. A man in a car behind us also pulled over to make sure we we're okay, nice guy... but he had the same car as me, so the thought of beating his ass down and stealing his tire crossed my mind.

Put on the spare, came back home.

We attempted to return our tickets, but it was a no go. Fuck you ticketmaster!

So we decided to do what anyone who almost dies does, we picked up some beers, and started drinking.

And then we just sat back drinking beer, feeling as if we had just got our tire shot out then robbed $45 by a mad-man who only victimizes people with high hopes. But I suppose things arn't too bad, we did end up making progress with what might be the greatest song ever written, and we also didn't die, and more importantly I didn't die a virgin.

Now I sit in front of my computer, first green beer of St. Patty's day in hand (I'm sort of an expert at one hand typing) and I look forward to the future. So tommorow when you go out and get stupid drunk off of green beer, make sure you have a safe ride home, because if your not alive, how can you enjoy things like getting stupid drunk off of green beer? And how could you enjoy seeing Andrew WK when he comes to town sometime next month? (I think it's next month)

Anyway, Happy St Patty's Day.