I Don't Have Any Ideas.

Just in case anyone still checks up on this crap, I'm just letting you know that I'm trying very hard to update.

The problem is that I just don't have any ideas that seem significant/funny enough, and all I end up doing is bitching, which I'm trying to stray away from.

I could bore you with random updates of my life and make you read stuff that you really don't care about... and thats exactly what I'm gunna do right now.

I'm jobless. I gave the big fuck you to grainfields a couple of weeks ago because I got sick and tired of our new Filipino's incompetence, it wasn't just a language barrier, the guy was just plain and simple fucking stupid. Oh yea, grainfields started hiring Filipinos because they aren't willing to pay good loyal cooks decent money. Another reason why I quit was because the owner is a bad bad man. If anyone meets the owner of grainfields; do me a favor and kick him in the nuts... then stab him in the chest, or shot him in the head, or strangle him, or drown him, or burn him alive, or smother him in his own money that you steal from his pockets... use your imagination, as long as he's dead. He may be super religious and spends more money on his church than on his employees that make him all of his fuck loads of money, but if anything is right in this universe that we live in, and if hell actually exists, I hope to see him burning one day and I will personally jab my dick in his eye then rip his junk off and feed it to every single person that he has fucked over just to make more money in his mortal life so that he'll never be able to fuck his fat bitch of a wife again... God damn hell sounds fucking glorious.


Another thing thats glorious?

A weekend off. I haven't had a weekend off in over a year and a half, and it's everything I imagined it could be. The first weekend off I got super drunk (naturally) and sang karaoke without the threat of me sleeping in and being late for a shitty 7 am shift. And... I did other stuff... that involved me being drunk... and not really remembering what was going on... but it kicked ass, a lot of ass. I've slept-in a lot and I've also played a lot of music. In the two weeks I had off I played 2 shows with 2 different bands, and tomorrow night I have another one. I could live the rest of my life doing this. Except if I were actually doing this for the rest of my life I would also get the pleasure of traveling the country/continent/globe and not being in stupid shit-hole Saskatoon wasting away like the rest of the middle-class populace. God damn being a traveling musician sounds fucking glorious.

What's not glorious?

Women. I sort of blamed my lack of sex on my shit ass job. Why?... Well, when do most people get down with the fuckin? when they're drunk of course, and when are most slutty chicks drunk? thats right the weekends. Well you see when I had to work at 7 am every weekend morning I really never had the option to bring drunk slutty girls home, therefore I assumed that that was the main reason why my penis was drier than the sahara. Turns out this isn't true. Turns out that Dre was right (at least I think it was Dre... to tell the truth I don't care) bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks... and also the ever present handicap of me living with my mom also is a big... handicap... and the biggest reason of all is that I still have no game.

But, I did have game!!! sort of. For about a month I noticed that attractive girls seemed to talk to me more, and it's not because I suddenly got actual game, or lost weight (definitely gained weight... stupid binge drinking) or something like that. It was because I was actually seeing a girl for a while... and I'm totally not lying!!! There was a girl who legitimately thought I was cool. We hung out once or twice a week and things were awesome. But, whenever I was out without her there, it seemed like girls would talk to me. I would even go so far as to say that girls hit on me... There was the PETA girl whom I told that I love steak while wearing a leather jacket... she loved me and I have witnesses! There was some chick who I've seen many times before but for some reason thought I was cool this one and only time... There was this 6 foot 3 chick (who ended up being the girl who pierced my nipple when I was 15... wierd) who started talking to me at the karaoke bar, and other random occasions of bitches not being disgusted with me... For one month I was awesome with the bitches because I had some sort of underlying confidence... yet my penis stayed dry... Kill me now.

Anyway, my lady friend whom decided she liked me... therefore didn't want to be with me anymore in fear that she would ruin things... or some whack reason like that... (women are stupid), hooked me up with a job at Saskatoon Inn... Well thats not entirely true, I also ran into someone who briefly worked at grainfields while at brunch on sunday at the Inn and he basically offered me a job on spot. But I just heard that they would only give me 5:30am shifts (including weekends... fuck that!) and that I'd have to take out my piercings. So it looks like I don't have a job after all, because I'm not willing to change something about myself that I like just to get a super awesome job as a breakfast cook in the super awesome classy world renown Saskatoon in for a whopping $11.60 and hour, which doesn't bother me too much, cause I think I can survive another month without working. I don't want to, and will find a job before then, but I'm not concerned... I just wanna work again so I can get more tattoos and save money so I can hopefully go to Europe sometime in the kind-of-near future.

Well that's my life. If any women are willing to offer something wet to moisturize my dry dry genitalia or know of any that are, it would be very appreciated... if not, then you just wasted your time and mine reading this.

Until next time.

Keep fit and have fun.

Jay.